September 24, 2009
A few random things...
Jeff Chavez of Northstar Thinktank said these two things:
1) "If I could give you one piece of advice; one tip that can have more impact than anything else, this is it: Master the art of a successful mindset. Learn from someone who can help you identify your mental roadblocks, remove them, and then witness miraculous success in your life."
2) "When we get right down to it, success or failure has almost nothing to do with a great business idea or a phenomenal opportunity. It's really all about what's going on in your head."
I wonder if you know someone who could help you with removing your mental roadblocks and to determine what's going on in your head? (Wink, wink)
I also read this lovely sentiment week:
You never leave my mind.
Even when there are a million
worries I'm thinking about.
Don't we all have a few in our life who fit that bill? There always seems to be room in my head for both my troubles and for those I care about.
I was out of town this past weekend on business. While I was gone my car remained back home. It was vandalized. The rear window was shot out with a shotgun. I wasn't the only one. My first reaction was "Well...crap." I had to coordinate the police reporting, insurance claim and securing the car from a distance.
Then the costs started adding up. The glass replacement estimates were averaging $750. There is also body work because the shot hit the trunk lid. There is detailing that will have to be done to get all the tape residue off the car where the window opening was secured from the incoming rains. The car has to have the Zylon coating replaced. The inside of the car has to be detailed to get out all the glass from the trunk and back seat. And there is time required for every one of those things to be done.
My second reaction was anger. (What can I say? I'm human, after all.) I became very angry at the people who decided this was just a game. This randon act of idiocy was costing me and others time & money. I had to inconvenience family and friends while I was out of town to secure the car and waste their time by asking them to hang around until the police arrived to file the report.
Then I thought about the other victims who had the same damages.
What a clear reminder that how we choose to live our life is important. All the vandals chose to do was pull a trigger and aim. Is that all their life is about? Senseless actions? How sad.
I'm not angry any more. Just sad. For all the victims. For the vandals.
September 12, 2008
Good question....
Are you defining your self by a thing that happened to you?
Everyone has had at least one traumatic event occur in their lives. Everyone. Trauma is relative to personal experience. You have developed different tools for coping than your siblings, friends, and co-workers. Things that have happened to our friends may not result in a trauma to our own selves. Sometimes things happen to others and we believe it would just hurt us beyond what we could bear. Or we support them and it actually traumatizes us to see them is in so much pain. There is no doubt that we all have had our share of trauma.
Yet, some people seem to confuse their identity - who they are - with an event that happened to them. The traumatic experience happened to you, but it is not you. It does not define or describe you. It is not all of you, and it is not the last word on you. It is not the whole of your life's experience, nor is it the last thing you will ever experience. Repeat after me: I am not the events which happen to me.
{{{{Hugs}}}}
September 8, 2008
Holding one's self accountable
I loved this! AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
by Portia Nelson
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
September 1, 2008
6:30 a.m.
Hurricane Gustav
My heart, thoughts and prayers are with all of you being affected by this storm.
For those who have chosen to evacuate, I pray that you have comfort and a calm mindset as you cope with uncertainty.
I pray that those of you who are in the path will be safe during the time Gustav passes, that your daily needs be met as you deal with the aftermath and that the needed lines of communication remain open.
For all of those who have friends and family being affected, I pray that you are able to be assured of their safety, that if your loved ones need help that they get it as quickly as possible.
And for all of you, I pray that you can talk to one another very soon.
{{{{HUGS}}}} to you all.
August 26, 2008
Completion...
A fellow EFTer shared a wonderful example of his work. I enjoyed that he is using EFT in a way some people don't think about. Since "letting go to move on" is something that I regularly use it for, I thought you'd enjoy the information. I loved the theme of "Completion" that he used.
How many of you have ended a relationship yet feel like there is still something undone or unfinished? Ending any relationship whether it's with a job or a person is easy enough to do. However, truly being complete with a relationship can be an entirely different experience. Taking on being complete as a practice is a powerful
way to move on from the past and truly live our lives grounded in the many possibilities that are available to us in the present moment.
I once had a client who was going to travel out of state to spend a few days with her ex-husband. She wasn't looking forward to the trip and was afraid that the majority of the time would be spent in disagreements and arguments around what should or
shouldn't happen around some issues regarding their children.
As it turned out my client and I were able to have an EFT session when she was there and just as she had imagined, she was having a predictably, difficult time. So, we began to look at the situation from the perspective of what she was creating. She saw that her expectations of her ex-husband were very much connected to her experience of how he had occurred for her in the past. The more we talked the more it became clear to her that even though they had ended their marriage a number of years ago, she still had some unresolved issues from the past that she continued to bring
forward into the present moment. These issues showed up on the surface in the form of complaints about her husband.
Once we had a look at this together I invited her to let go of being right and to genuinely acknowledge her ex-husband for all of the ways that he had contributed to her life and the lives of their children over the years. In order to do this, she had to let go of her
complaints and negative judgments about him. Once she did this she felt a tremendous freedom fill her being as if a great weight had been lifted. She was then able to see that her complaints about him only served to take the attention of off a limiting belief she had that he was a better parent than she was.
Through our EFT session my client was able to not only see something for herself that previously had been hidden from view, but also was able to experience an amazing
freedom and peace of mind through her commitment to being complete.
August 10, 2008
It's simple really...
"Some day the medical profession will wake up and realize that unresolved emotional issues are the main cause of 85% of all illnesses. When they do, EFT will be one of their primary healing tools .... as it is for me." - Eric Robins, MD -
How astonishing is that remark!? 85% of all illnesses are caused by unresolved emotional issues. Now, truly, can anyone state an absolute percentage and be accurate? Maybe not, but we can get the sense of how much our emotions play into our physical ailments, can't we?
It's simple really. When the emotional intensity around a particular experience or physical issue is addressed and minimized with EFT, the body's natural healing ability is better able to do its job. The end result is that you feel better. Most EFTers report experiencing surprisingly profound emotional and physical improvements. These usually go hand in hand with a renewed ability to meet life's challenges with a sense of confidence, calm and peace.
August 8, 2008
State of mind...
"The deeper emotions are not really emotions at all, but states of Being. They emanate from within you as the love, joy and peace that are aspects of your true nature. "
A New Earth: Awakening to your life's purpose; Eckert Tolle, p.137
I read that quote and it made me stop to think..."is that true in my own personal experience?"
My past is littered with abusive people who have hurt me and also people I have hurt. I know that I perpetuated ugliness for many years. I am not being calloused when I say that I can't change what has already happened. But there are things I can change! I can now be quick to ask for forgiveness from those I have hurt. I can forgive myself for creating hurts and work on being more observant of other's feelings. I can forgive others for hurting me. Forgiving and letting go of all that hurt had allowed me to have more room for love and compassion.
I chose EFT as my tool to help let go of my negativity. It has also been my choice to make room for love, compassion and other tender emotions. I learned that if I remove something then I get to choose what - if anything! - goes in its place. Removing the negativity left a mighty big hole to fill.
Our state of being is our personal choice. My life is a repeat of so many others. We don't choose all of the circumstances and experiences in our life. But at some point we can become self-accountable and begin to intentionally choose our actions and reactions. You can neutralize the negative events and get better at dealing with new experiences. When you release negative emotions you make room for something else. And you get to choose what the "something else" will be. Going back to the quote, you can choose what to emanate.
I named my company Choose Your Way because I firmly believe that we get to do just that! Choose our own path. Choose to let go of the toxic people and events in our life. Choose who we are. Choose to emanate the aspects of our true nature.
So, is th quote above true to my personal experience? Yes, but I didn't know it until after I began to make choices.
August 1, 2008
On personal power….
There are people who want to have power over others. And there's not a person on this earth who hasn't found himself on the short end of that power stick at one time or another. For some people it's a way of life.
Have you ever asked yourself what it is that gives someone power over you? Simply put, it's a matter of perception - both the other person's and yours. Most power is abstract, and so it is impossible to quantify.
So the question becomes, "If the power someone holds over you is abstract, how can you overcome it?" The answer is “You simply refuse to grant permission.” The only power another person can have over you is the power you give him.
Which means it's really your power. And only you can grant another person permission to take your power. Conversely, you can also refuse to grant that permission.
Of course, you do not verbally grant permission. It's much more subtle than that. The way it normally happens is that you get yourself into a position where you need the other person. If, for example, you ask him for a favor, that immediately gives him power over you.
So the surest way to prevent others from having power over you is to be independent. And the practical consequence that follows naturally is that independence gives you power. Even a master intimidator like Donald Trump would have no power over you if you were totally independent. He may be a powerful person in his own right, but his power would not affect you unless you allowed it to. And you certainly are under no obligation to do that.
The next time you feel as though you're in a position of weakness when dealing with someone, remember that his power is really your power - power that you have given him. And anytime you wish to revoke that power, you need only withdraw your permission for him to use it.
July 30, 2008
Friends...
I visited with an old friend, Mark, last night. I've known him for 30 years. He and I met when we were 14 years old when my family moved 2 doors over from him. A year later my Gramma moved into the house between us. I'll probably never look as good as I do in Mark's memory, but who cares!? He vividly remembers me when I was a "hot" 16 year old. Mark has told me and others that he won't forget us being at the lake, me in my white denim cut-off shorts. Those summer days at the lake were the beginning of our friendship. At one point we toyed with the idea of us having a future together. But we decided we would be better off as friends. So we have been.
Now picture this: A short, dark-haired, thin, muscular, fierce biker looking guy. Yes, he has the mustache. And that's him. But looks are deceiving. He always has on what he calls his "New York" face. That's the fierce part. Then he smiles and you realize that he's a teddy bear after all. Mark is a self-described "eccentric." That would be accurate. He has weird ideas about alot of things. And he is a bit of a hermit. But that isn't by nature. I know that he likes people and socializing, but he hates confrontation and he's been hurt often. He is very creative, generous and thoughtful. He is an incredibly soft soul, and takes other people into his heart quickly.
I also have Tom in my life. He and I have a long distance friendship. He lives 6 states and over 1,000 miles away. I met him in 1998 or so in a business meeting. We just clicked right away. And somehow time has zoomed by and we have kept in touch. We keep promising that we'll meet up somewhere to see each other in person again. It would be nice to sit face-to-face and chat with him.
Until then, we'll talk and email as we have for the past decade. I've watched his kids grow up and he has watched mine. He didn't even have all his kids yet, when we met! He had a daughter and a son. Now he has 3 boys and a girl. My own kids were 15 and 11 when we met. Tom was there for me through all the hard things in my life. I've seen him through job changes, divorce, the loss of his only brother, dating until he found "the one," and lots of little things that make up a life. We've only seen each other that one time when we first met.
Tom and Mark are very different. Where Mark has a bit of a goofy sense of humor Tom is quick and sarcastic. But they are also somehow similar. Tom is also a soft-heated guy. Very non-judgemental. A very good listener.
About 6 or 8 weeks ago I introduced Mark and Tom. That was a fun night! I went to Mark's house and we called Tom. We put Tom on speaker phone and hung out by the fire Mark built. (Which we photo'd and messaged to Tom.) Mark and I regaled Tom with old tales. Tom & I talked about our times together. Then the boys compared their notes. Tom is no slouch, but Mark knows alot about me. After all, he has 20 years on Tom. Both of them have a much better memory that I have and managed to capitalize on it. It was just hillarious! Hanging out with them both was great!
I hope you have a Mark and/or a Tom in your life. The kind of friends who are simply always there no matter what.
July 22, 2008
A nice thing I read today...
Today I went to get my hair cut and colored. While I waited for the hair color to cover my greys I read the current issue of Good Housekeeping magazine. A photo of a grandfather leaning over to his granddaughter caught my eye. It was so sweet.
There was a Marcel Proust quote that was equally sweet:
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
I look for things to be grateful for and this was a very nice point. The people in our lives who make us happy absolutely deserve our gratitude. Certainly not everyone who crosses our path brings happiness, right? Count those people who do as a blessing.
Marcel Proust's phrasing is so nicely done. Personalities seem to blend in harmony. I love how the happiness that others bring to my life is really unique to me and that person. It's like being gardeners together because they cultivate me and I cultivate them. We are both tending the relationship whether it's a friendship, romance, or family. Putting soil, sun, seed and water together with joyful effort. Under those right conditions you get blossoming souls. Certainly something for which to be grateful.
July 16, 2008
Basking in kind words...
Yesterday I came home from Canada. My adoptive Mom and sister, Julie, picked me up from the airport. They asked me to describe something about them that no one else knows. Wow! That's a tough question. I believe that everyone must see what I see about them. Maybe that's a little myopic. I know them to be gentle, loving and kind-hearted. They love to laugh. Who doesn't see that about them!? Ok, so I looked a little closer at them both. And later I turned the tables on them. :)
Mom is a slow, deep thinker. She "gets" things that another mind may not get because she mulls over these things and can explain it all so clearly. Somehow she seems to be able to communicate her thoughts in a simple way without making others feel small.
Julie is creative and clever. Because she is quiet in public she comes off as shy. But in private she has strong opinions, is animated, quirky and alot of fun. Her mind works very quickly. Like Mom, she is able to communicate her thoughts very clearly.
Then I asked them to describe me. "To others," Mom said, "I believe that you may come off as razor sharp, clever, witty. And you are! Like a cat with a ping pong ball, you can bat words back every time. But I don't think that others can see that you are really soft...kind... tender. And you are generous with your time and effort to help others. You have a deep, awe-inspired love of nature."
Mmmmmm...that's just like sitting in the sunshine after getting out the cool water of the ocean. The warmth simply sinks in like a beautiful hug that you get to hold to your heart forever. "What could be better?" I ask after a contented sigh.
July 13, 2008
Tough Lessons...
Wow, no writing here for 10 days...so many thoughts have passed since then. I have been reminded of a very cool lesson. Painful, but very helpful.
I have made it a habit to address and process any "thing" as soon as it comes up. Sometimes the "thing" is a bit from my past. Yesterday I remembered some words that had been hurled at me when I was very young. It was a vicious emotional attack and to remember the words again, even 40 years later, hurt like crazy. As I processed the emotion of it, I reviewed the tools I have today that can help me get through this new "thing."
I have the power of adult reasoning and perspective that a 3 year old me didn't have. So I thought about why the words were stated at all. Those words actually had very little to do with me beyond the fact that I was present. They came from a desperate woman who was doing a poor job of getting a hold of her life. She was miserably unhappy. Her life had spun out of control long before I existed. I just happened to be in her presence that day, at that moment, unintentionally reminding her that her life was a mess.
She said she hated me. Three times for emphasis, and loudly - for dramatic effect, I suppose. Very strong words for a mother to her daughter. She let her own pain and heartbreak spill out all over me. Her situation was not my fault and it was too bad she didn't have better self-control of her tongue. In that moment we were nearly welded together with her hot anger and frustration.
Ah, but the operable word here is "nearly." Now as I review this time in my life, I am rejecting her words. It isn't that I believe she didn't mean what she said. Quite the contrary. I believe she did, and still does, mean those words. Her actions fully support that what she said is her truth. But that is her truth to carry. I am choosing not to stake claim on something that isn't mine and never was. In this case, I refuse to possess the toxic belief that because this one woman absolutely can't, won't love me, that her feelings are now transferred like a virus to every other human in existence. Of course I can be loved. In fact, I am loved. Very much so. (I have been blessed with an adoptive family. (When I was disowned at age 26, my adoptive Mom stated, "They just threw out a perfectly good white girl! If they don't want you, we sure do!!" Her family agreed and graciously brought me into their fold as one of their own.)
Now that I have some adult perspective I can apply EFT to any remaining debris from this toxic moment in my life. And with that, let it go entirely. This memory processed in less than 22 hours. In the years before EFT, this would have crippled me for months, perhaps years longer. Instead, I met it head on and now it's a neutral event.
Some of you readers may wonder why I am being so open in my life. After all, how can I be a self-respecting EFT practioner if there are still things that can creep up like this event? Aren't I afraid you'll lose respect for me? Why would I show that I still have "things" that are not resolved?
I'm sharing because I understand that growth is a process. No one told me that part when I began this journey. It may not have been helpful to have known this up front. After all, had I known that the work was going to be hard before I learned EFT, I may never have started all those years ago. *grin* But now that I am firmly on the road I have found I am getting stronger and I am enjoying becoming the person I want to be. I am doing my very best today to be my best Barbara today. And I can't ask more from me since today is all I have to work with, right?
And kind reader, I am letting you know that you can be your best regardless of what anyone else believes about you. They are just giving you a glimpse of the writing on their walls. You can choose not to let it become a defining part of your world.
Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.
It will be enough.
{{{Hugs}}}
July 3, 2008
"Diversity and beauty, happiness and energy..."
I was perusing iReports on CNN moments ago. This was part of a statement someone made and it just struck me as calming and pleasing. I enjoy reading things that immediately give me a feeling. I wanted to meet the woman who said that phrase.
July, 01, 2008
Why I've been away for a couple of days...
I am preparing for the new EFT Gary Craig certifications. I have both CC and ADV certifications. For a long time those were the only 2 I could acheive. Now there is a new certification in EFT. The studying is intense, and that's a very good thing. It's comprehensive, and that's even better. All my time spent in learning and reviewing the finer points of EFT will only serve to help me become more proficient at helping others.
I am telling you this because learning will become my focus and my blog will become spotty. On the upswing, you will benefit in the long run!
June 28, 2008
Just an observation...
Last night I went out with friends. I was talking about yesterday's post and the heirachy of our needs. I summed it up (much more quickly than in the post!) that it all comes back to emotional security. One of the women immediately looked at her boyfriend and said something like, "Yeah, Honey! Are you listening to this?" As if to say he really should be listening.
The moment reminds me of two things I heard when I was a teenager One was the directive to put on your own oxygen mask before you attempt to help others. You'd be amazed at the number of things that simple advice applies to in a life.
The other thing was a sermon. The minister asked if any of us had ever listened to a sermon and thought, "Oooh! I hope "so and so" is listening to this." Several people nodded. He continued, "You just know they need to hear this, right?" More nodding.
Then the minister said, "Well, quit it! This information is for you. Apply it to yourself."
What I learned is that if I listen and apply things to myself first I don't have time to look at the faults of others. How can I? I have to work on my own new fault that was just pointed out to me.
So there I was with friends. The scene above unfolded. I thought, "It looks like she believes he has a fault. And she needs us all to know about it. She could use this info, too." I told her that this really applies to everyone I know and everyone I meet.
I woke up this morning and thought, "Well if I'm pointing a finger in any way, I must need it, too." Suddenly I don't have time to consider if they have faults or not because I'm too busy applying that sermon again and looking for my oxygen mask.
June 27, 2008
Human behavior...
I was reading today about the various theories of human behavior. If you know me at all, you already know that people are my favorite things. Isn't it true that we are all simple and complex at the same time? Sure we are, and that just fascinates me! So as I was reading these various theories about why we do what we do, I was caught up in the Maslow theory of the hierarchy of needs. Of course, I always think of how things relate in terms of EFT and personal growth. As I read this list I started thinking about how one need leads to the next. If one need isn't met, is left even partially unfullfilled, then we get stuck. We may even begin to self-sabotage.
Can that list, then, be used for addressing issues, uncovering areas of potential and eventually setting a new goal on our quest for personal growth? I think so.
Maslow defined five orders of needs, listed in ascending importance:
| Physiological | The basic survival requirements of warmth, shelter and food |
| Security | Protection from danger of threat |
| Social | Relations with others, expressed as friendship comradeship or love |
| Self-Respect | Sense of personal worth, respect and autonomy |
| Self-Actualization | Sense of achieving your full potential |
Maslow stated that once a group or order of needs is satisfied, we will not be motivated by more of the same, but will seek to satisfy higher order needs. Further, a higher order need will not be a motivator if lower order needs remain unmet. For example, we won't be concerned about working relationships or professional achievement if we are truly concerned for our own security. That means that our boss won't motivate us by talking about personal ambition and achievement if we feel we're about to lose our job. Security overrides social standing.
Maslow is theorizing that if we are struggling with our primary and basic need for warmth, shelter and food then we are not concerned with security, or anything else, for that matter, beyond this first primary need. If our needs the basics are met, then we move on to addressing security and safety. Makes sense to me. Now, the thing is, we understand that it is our responsibility to manage our first survival needs - food, warmth, shelter and our second need for physical safety. At first our guardians took care of those things for us. But eventually the reins are turned over to us as we reach adulthood and we are essentially on our own to manage. But, after the basics are met, we start getting into the more complex territory.
Look at number three on the list. Ah, our social life. Who of us has not, at some point, felt that our social interactions are not exactly on par with those around us? As kids we were teased, harrassed, bullied, and hurt. As aduts, we may feel the same way still. Kids are mean because they are trying to find their social place and have the burden of their family's dynamics guiding them. Not all families are created equal. OK, so that's the way it is when we're a kid. But what the heck happens when the kid grows up?
The family may never change. But the reins of our own social needs had been handed over to us by the time we reached adulthood, just as the reins of those first two basic needs, and we have the individual ability to change whenever we like. We've heard the phrase, "you made your bed, now lie in it." But flip that coin over and we find that it also says, "but if you don't like how the bed is made, re-make it!" So perhaps step one would be to hold ourself accountable for being an adult. Look in the mirror.
Where do things begin to break down with our social needs? Right there, in the mirror. When we talk a good game of being an adult while abdicating our responsibility to self in this area. By continuing to blame our family, exes, co-workers, peers, ect., for our problems. What if we challenged our self-beliefs? What do we like about ourself? What would we like to adjust?
The thing is, no matter what we were told about who we are, the real us is inside waiting to be developed. That is our own responsibilty as an adult. If we are not sharing our real self on a social level, then go back to Maslow's list of the heirarchy of needs. Where is the real breakdown? Security. It always comes back to safety. When we aren't feeling secure we get stuck.
Just because our life has been what it has been so far, doesn't mean that we have to keep it this way forever! You're bed is made, but you can re-make it any time you like. Maybe that means asking someone with more experience than we have for some help. Or taking time to research, learn about and use self-help tools. With our need for food, we had to get off our couch and go to the store. The same holds true for our emotional security. Go find a source to emotionally nourish yourself with really good stuff.
Here's what I know about emotional security. It's a goal. If you can trust yourself in any one area of your life you can learn to trust yourself in other areas, too. All that's needed is the courage to remake your bed.
June 25, 2008
If you knew you absolutely could not fail, what would you do?
When our doubts and fears are removed, when we are confident and feel safe, we can accomplish all that we dream. And better, yet! We actually begin to dream our real dreams!
Dream big. REALLY BIG! Pull out all the stops. Put the cherry on top. What is your biggest dream for your relationships? For your spiritual self? For your financial self? For your personal growth? In your career?
You have the rest of your life to work on your dreams. What's that you say? You can't because... What was that? I didn't quite hear you. Oh, you say the writings on your walls prevents you from moving forward? Ah. Is that really a problem? It is, huh?
If you have a dream but your own self-talk kills it, or at least damages it, then you may want to listen to the self-talk. Not to let it win, rather, to test whether it's your own truth. Is this limiting belief YOUR own truth? Often the limiting beliefs between us and our dream is really not our's at all.
Ask yourself, answer quickly, and trust your gut on this: Is this my own belief?
Once you test it, frequently it collapses. Why? Because if it isn't yours you can let it go. But what if it doesn't fall apart with that quick test? Well, don't you know of some tool that may help you erase that old self-talk? *smile* Here is one of the best uses of EFT anyone could employ for a satifying life. Tap on those limiting beliefs that are squashing your dreams. Figure out who told you that your dream is silly, unreachable or stupid. Who told you that you can't do it because no one in your family ever has? Or that you aren't smart enough, rich enough, deserving enough? The list goes on. You don't have to believe what they believe. Challenge that self-talk!
You can certainly learn what you need to learn, can't you? You can earn the money you need to earn. You can find your own true value. Grow your dream from a thought to your real life! You CAN do it!
As always, I want to hear from you. Share your dreams. Share your limiting beliefs. I'd be honored to help you find your way.
{{HUGS}}
June 24, 2008
Only you have the responsibility for where you are today. If you are not happy, set yourself a new goal.
That thought made me think of you immediately. I wondered if you are enjoying your life. Are you happy with your choices? Remember this: Today is always a new starting point.
If you don't like where you are then - cool part! - you can simply change your direction. You've got the Pow-WAH! As it says above, "set yourself a new goal."
Here's my tip. Start small. Really small. I mean tiny. If you adjust only 1% a day, at the end of a year you will have shifted by 365%!! WOW! You don't have to make major changes to get from where you are to where you want to be.
You want a lose weight? Start by setting a tiny goal. It might go something like this:
Goal 1: Buy a little notebook and a nice pen, something you really like.
Goal 2: Write down everything you eat and drink. Don't judge, just note it.
Just do that part for a full month. Don't change a thing. Don't go on a diet, don't add excercise, don't cut or add foods. Don't judge yourself. The purpose of this goal is to learn where you want to make adjustments. Then choose only one area to address. Choosing only ONE area is important! There is no need, or benefit, in overwhelming yourself.
Goal 3: Pick one specific thing to change in your patterns. (Add, cut or adjust something in a defined goal. You can't reach the goal: Get better about water. Maybe you may want to add 2 servings of water to your day, or cut down on chips from the 46 ounce back to a 20 ounce bag. Fine. Be specific.)
Goal 4: Work on that every day until it becomes easy.
Modify and repeat Goals 3 and 4 until you get to the place you want to be.
Do you see how small these goals are? Nothing here is going to catapult you into a new world. You will simply begin to learn more about yourself. You have to know you to set goals for you. It's OK to make it easy. Baby steps are still steps, after all.
Remember, today is always a new starting point. What would you like to adjust in your own life? Write to me and let me know!
{{Hugs}}
June 23, 2008
"My consistent thoughts become my reality."
Follow with me for just a moment. Each of us lives in a Palace of Possibilities. I am in my own room. You are in your own room. Can you visualize that? One big palace, many rooms, each person in his/her own room. My room is just what I designed. And yours is just what you have designed. Or is it? Are we allowed to go into other rooms? Are there common areas?
We respond to the world around us only after the events in our life go through internal filters. And what are the filters? These are the writings on our walls which make up our self-beliefs. The words on our walls are metaphors for our self talk, of course. They represent the attitudes, opinions & beliefs that we have accumulated over the years. Many of them are hand-me-downs from our parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, religion, peers, books, TV and an endless list of other "authorities" in our lives. Upon inspection many of them are laughable. Yet, they still seem to have a hold on our progress.
We all have different words on our walls. That's why we appear to have different limits. Your limits are different from mine because the "truths" written on your walls are different from the "truths" written on mine. But, they are not really "truths" at all. They are just the guidelines we have adopted for getting through life--AND--many of them are fictions. They are hand-me-down beliefs that were written on our walls by others and we have been dutifully obeying them ever since. This need not be.
We constantly consult the writing on our walls. Many are unaware of The Palace of Possibilities in which they live because they dwell in their own personal dungeons amidst their thoughts of past abuses, war memories, fear, guilt, ect. Their consistent thoughts have become their reality and, as they walk around, they bring their dungeons with them. The writing on their walls provides graphic evidence of their personal guilt, shame, phobias, etc. and IT IS WRITTEN THERE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, SHOUTING AT THEM. There is other writing, of course - even some very positive writing. However, it is overwhelmed by those capital letters. Those capital letters become the focus of their thinking - the centerpiece of their existence. They have become lifetime "limits" and will continue to do so until that writing is erased and replaced.
Jim Newman says: "Yesterday's thoughts have created your present. Today's thoughts are creating your future."
This is just another way to say, "my consistent thoughts become my reality." So is, A happy face does not come by chance, it comes by happy thoughts." The idea is everywhere. Think what you have always thought and you will get what you have always gotten.
We are constantly consulting the writing on our walls. We do it all day long and the most prominently written words on our walls become our consistent thoughts and so our reality. We would, of course, all like to have a better reality. We would prefer to have more emotional freedom, to live in the more expansive annexes of our personal Palace of Possibilities. It follows then, that the way to achieve a better reality is to change our consistent thoughts because changing our consistent thoughts automatically changes our reality.
I am aware that this is a cognitive sort of approach and, as such, some of it is old, but powerful, stuff. What takes us to new levels here is the combination of these tools with EFT. The tapping technologies clear away (erase) the heavy emotional stuff far more efficiently than do the cognitive approaches. This relief, paired with the creative use of cognitive type tools, allows us to more easily rewrite (replace) the words on our walls. Once we erase the limiting words from our walls, we can replace them with whatever we want. Erase and replace. Erase and replace. Our aim here is to approach personal limitlessness. Oh my!
As always I invite you to send me your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you!
{{HUGS}}